conflict......

Over the years there has been something that keeps coming to mind. It is something that is not the profound. Okay....are you ready......I stink at this whole being a Christian thing. I constantly struggle, I do stupid things, I don't pray or read the word enough, I hurt people around me, I am prideful, I often care more about what other think than I do about what God thinks, and there is always to be something that I need to work on. But thankfully God puts amazing people into my life.
I am very grateful for the friends and mentors that I have in my life that are willing to sit down and speak the hard truth to me. Many times I don't want to hear, but I NEED to hear it. God uses the people around us to make us more into His image. Even though it is very tough sometimes, I praise God for friends who show me where I fail. I desperately need people like this in my life. I think through all this God is showing me why I need him. I am not supposed to be good at being a Christian. That is why we need Christ. I cannot live a day in my own strength. As soon as I do, sin happens. I need to immerse myself in the grace and strength of God. I pray that God would give me grace to walk in his strength and be a person who points people to Christ. As strange as it might sound, I am thankful for conflict. When conflict arises, God often uses that to show me the sin that I cannot see in my life. God, thank you for people who are willing to speak that hard truth into my life.

Village Church

My roomate recently gave me his ipod nano. It as been awesome to have one of these. I have been immersing myself in sermons over the past several weeks. There has been one pastor I have been listening to over and over again. He is an amazing communicator and preacher of God's word. You guys should definitely check this guy out. His name is Matt Chandler. I was introduced to him through a message he gave the Reform and Resurgence conference that Mark Driscoll put on. This message absolutely blew me away. It had me laughing, crying, and wanting to know God more. Check out Matt Chandler and listen to this guy. He blows me away everytime.

cultivate delight

Well...it has been a while. I have not come across this blog in a while. From some strong encouragement from a good friend of mine, I have decided to start blogging again. I am looking forward to getting started again.

So what has been on my mind?

Lately I have been going back to a Psalm that seems to be resonating with me right now. I am in a weird place. There is alot of good things going on....but these are things that require me to look to God and keep an open hand with the gifts he gives me. I can easily close my grip on things that God does not want me to have. This is such a struggle for me. So i find myself continually going back to these amazing scriptures.


1 Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
2 For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb. 3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it. 6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday. 7 Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. 8 Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing9 For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.

Psalms 37:1-9 (NASB)

I have been really soaking myself in this passage. I need to hear this everyday......or truthfully every hour. God is bigger then my struggles. I pray that I will walk in his strength.

a mere breath

I love when I read something in God's word and it puts things back in perspective for me. Check out Psalm 39:5...

"Behold, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my lifetime as nothing in Your sight;
Surely every man at his best is a mere breath. Selah." (nasb)

What a humbling idea. Were are at best a mere breath. Our life is a vapor. (James 4) This verse, in a strange way, is so reassuring. When I begin to worry about life and circumtances I can remember that I am just a breath in eternity. Hopefully not one that stinks.:) But I pray that I would be a breath that would reflect Christ and have an impact on eternity. Life is to short to be worrying about things. Not only that, God is to BIG to be worrying about anything. I love this verse that follows verse 5.

"And now, Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you." v. 7

We can look to Christ and trust Him through every circumtance and trial. He is our hope and our salvation. He is the one who brings life. He alone is worthy of my trust and faith. He is the one who allows me to but a mere breath on this earth. My hope is in You and it is You alone that I trust. I pray that I would be humbled by how big you are and how small I am.

glorious

The other night Jason Coobs (my roomy), Booby Wood (our neighbor) and I went downtown to take pictures. It was the night when the big storm came. We found a spot to take pictures and we were trying to catch the lightening. I caught it, even though it came out a little blurry, and it was beautiful. It is things like lightening, rain and thunder that show me just how big God is. I love this picture because it reminds me how small I am and how big God is. I pray that I will always keep the bigness of God in the forefront of my mind. He is an amazing God who is Glorious.

random pics after chapel

These are some random pics I took after chapel on Thursday. I took some shots of Dr. Scroggins with his daughter. Seeing Dr. Scroggins interact with his kids, makes me want to have 6 kids. :)

strength for humility

Sorry, I have not posted in few days. Life has been somewhat crazy with work. On Thursday Dr. Scroggins preached in chapel on pride. You can listen to the message here. It was very convicting. Pride is so dangerous. It can totally mess up everything. I struggle with this very much and it seems to creep up in certain situations. I absolutely hate that I struggle with pride. Why do I worry so much about saving face? I know that my pride has held me back from doing things that I felt God telling me to do. I was too worried about what I would look like if I failed. Pride so often holds me back from doing things because I don't want to look stupid or incapable of doing something. The truth is that I am incapable of doing anything good on my own. Apart from Christ I can do nothing. I am still wrestling with this issue. How do I fight pride? Dr. Scroggins gave four suggestions for fighting pride:
1. Know your place
2. Be humble on purpose.
3. Vent to God.
4. Be alert because Satan prowls around like a lion.
I pray that I can begin to do these things. I do not want pride or fear of looking stupid hold me back from doing what God wants me to do. Father, I pray that I can fight this with your strength and I pray that you would draw me to my knees constantly. You are a holy and righteous God. I am a prideful man in need of humility. Give me the courage to be willing to look foolish for you Name. Father, I pray that Your will be done and that I would do whatever you call me to do regardless of how might look.

Pray that I can become more like Christ and grow in humility.

community group

At Crossing Church we do community groups. These are just groups that meet in homes throughout the week. I love my community group. God has taught me so much as to what a community group is to be. We get together and talk about the previous week's sermon, how it applies to our lives, we pray together, we talk about the good and bad in our lives and we laugh....alot. Here some pictures from my community group tonight.

uncertain trust

Here lately I have been doing a Bible reading plan, which has been really good. One of the places that I have been reading has been in the book of Psalm. When I read the words that David writes, it is like I am right there with him. I love that he is so honest with where he is. When David writes he goes from being totally down and fearful to praising God and proclaiming his trust in Him. This is where I have been lately. One day I am praising God and proclaiming my trust in Him and the next day I am wondering where He is. But through this time, God keeps bringing me to a Psalm like this one:

1 To You, O LORD, I call;
My rock, do not be deaf to me,
For if You are silent to me,
I will become like those who go down to the pit.
2 Hear the voice of my supplications when I cry to You for help,
When I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary.
3 Do not drag me away with the wicked
And with those who work iniquity,
Who speak peace with their neighbors,
While evil is in their hearts.
4 Requite them according to their work and according to the evil of their practices;
Requite them according to the deeds of their hands;
Repay them their recompense .
5 Because they do not regard the works of the LORD
Nor the deeds of His hands,
He will tear them down and not build them up.

6 Blessed be the LORD,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplication.
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him.
8 The LORD is their strength,
And He is a saving defense to His anointed.
9 Save Your people and bless Your inheritance;
Be their shepherd also, and carry them forever.
Psalms 28:1-9 (NASB)

I love the peace that comes when I am struggling with my trust in God and my focus on Him and God brings me to a Psalm where David proclaims his trust in the Creator and turns to praising the one who created the universe. I feel so much like David so many times. I know God is who He says He is and I know that He is faithful, but sometimes I get off focused and begin to get caught up in circumstances and in the fear of the unknown.

Thank you God for hearing my prayers and being faithful even when I am unfaithful. Father I want my trust to be in you alone. You are the Creator God. You hold all things together. You alone are the one that gave me life. You are my salvation!! You are the sovereign God. Father, I pray that in you alone I would trust. Given me strength and grace to trust in You even in the most uncertain and difficult times. Father, you will be done.